Aahndre

Here’s a drunk post. Yes, I am slightly drunk right now so whatever I write here would probably be true and genuine, straight from the heart stuff. First of all, I got inspiration to write this post from of course, Jana and more importantly from Madz. Yes, what he said when I was chatting with him yesterday really made me realize a lot of things. With just one line, he affirmed all that I was feeling and all the things I was planning.

Somewhere down the road.

This is what he said to me, somewhere down the road Andre, this song is perfect for you. I just finished reading and understanding the lyrics of the song. He was right. It is perfect. It’s all about timing and God’s plan. If there was something I choose to believe in right now: It is the fact that I will get my chance. I know that if given the chance everything with her would be something special. Maybe not now but sometime, I know that it will happen.

Maybe we’ve only begun.

The best is yet to come.

Perfect, I know this to be true. And I know somewhere deep within her too that she knows, yes, she knows that what we have is different, is special. Thousands of other people, even millions claim that their own relationships with their loved one is special but this is different. It cannot be explained in words, it just is. As my previous post said, it’s just me and her.

I know for a fact that as I write this post, my heart is slowly breaking into pieces. I know that I have to forget these feelings that I have and move on first. I will not grow as an individual if I just keep myself wallowing over what can be, and what I want now. I just choose to believe that if it is meant to be, we will be. Truth be told, I never expected her to be the girl I would go after. If you know me too well, this girl is definitely not my type. But that truth is, me and her, we’re just meant to be. I know some people would say “You’re just saying that” bla bla bla. I honestly do believe, for the first time in my entire life, that it is:

Fate.

I’ve always believed in making things work. I never believed in fate or how things would just end up working for themselves. I’ve always believed that to find that someone you’re meant to be with, you should go out there and look. Search as hard as you can. This has always been my philosophy. Crazy as it may sound though, I never looked right in front of me until a few months ago. I never figured that the person I was looking for was right there. I’ve been thinking of reasons why I like her but I end up getting blank messages in my head. I usually have a reason as to why I like a certain person, maybe the humor, attitude, looks, etc. This time its different, I can’t think of something that defines why I do like her.

I still believe in us together.

I understand more that you think I can.

These two lines from the song, God, struck me to the bone. I do know the circumstances and all that’s involved with us. I know that, now, we cannot be. Just like the song says, “Having the right love at the wrong time”. But with that, there will come a time for us to have our chance together. If we do, let’s just make the most out of it. I’m not saying that everything would be like a fairy tale wherein we’d be forever, but I know the two of us? We’d make it work, because we do.

For now, I’m content. The way things work right now is perfect. I would have it no other way. It’s just a matter of learning and living with facts. I won’t stay away, I can’t do that but I have to keep myself in check. We started out as friends, we became best friends and now that’s how I would like it to be. As much as it hurts deep inside, I know that I must be strong, I must be patient. My emotions have been out of control lately but I’ve come to learn. As I have been saying all throughout this post, somewhere down the road our time will come. For now, it’s time to grow, it’s time to live, learn and for me to say:

Letting go is just another way to say.

I’ll always love you so…